It’s kind of like one of those age-old questions. Do we give our kids too much? As little ones, they “want want want” everything they see. As they get older their demands become a bit more polite, turning into “please please please!” Sometimes it’s hard to resist those cute, little dimples. And probably, more often than not, we give in because we’re sick and tired of hearing the begging.
I took my (now 10 year old) son school shopping last week. We picked up $80 worth of school supplies from a list that the school provided (thankfully, the backpack from last year still works), and then we headed to the mall. My son has recently decided that he’d like a say in what sorts of clothes he wears to school. The skinny jeans, shorts that are just the right length, certain brands of t-shirts, and kid-approved, Mom-makes-me-wear-these collared shirts were among our purchases. All were on sale for pretty good prices, and I was feeling pretty good about what I had spent. And then we moved on to purchase the fashionable item that my son cares about most: sneakers. He pleaded with me for a few minutes to buy some $90 Nike feather-light running shoes that “all of his friends have” (until the sales gal told him that they did not have his size), and then his heart fell onto these Reebok ReeZigs.
Upon first glance, I thought they were kind of ugly. They’re not understated in any sort of way, and they won’t exactly match a whole lot of outfits. But then he tried them on. He jogged around the store with such excitement and pride that I thought… I’m really going to have to consider these. They were on sale for $80. My husband happened to call on my cell phone at that very moment and told me not to buy our son $100 sneakers. I didn’t listen. I bought them anyways.
Reflecting upon my decision later that week, I came to the following conclusions to make myself feel better about this grand purchase for my 10 year old:
1. I had gotten all of his school clothes on sale for good prices.
2. He’s a runner, and these are supposed to be good running shoes.
3. I actually DID make him contribute $20 toward the purchase of the shoes.
When I admitted to my husband that I bought the shoes (that he requested I not purchase), I dissolved into tears. I explained that when I was a child I always wanted those “cool” shoes that other kids were wearing, and we were never able to get them. I wanted our son to have them. Perhaps I’ve sent the wrong message… he asked, I bought, and now I’m stuck with buying uber-expensive sneakers from here on out.
So what do you think…do we give our kids too much? Are you able to hold back and just give your kids what they need? Or do you fall into the trap of wanting your kids to have things you didn’t have as a child?
Ha when I was a kid I used to wear Payless and k mart shoes—- I would always hide the half of my shoes and tail people they were reeboks or Adidas . Now that I’m 28 yrs old i buy my self $150.00 nike air max. And I feel good know. I came in with a poor family living in a 2bedroom apartment, with 5 brothers.. So that says it all.. Well anyways my first nephew is 13yrs old and his dad wicth is my brother is 40yrs old and he living off of paycheck by paycheck in his home. So I now how it feels for my nephew to be made fun of and what not… So anyways I would buy him $120-180 jordan shoes and know people thinks he is cool he has money his family are awesome, all because of the type of shoe. Well my nephew takes good care of them and they last 10-13months. But my brother would always get mad because I spend so much and the dad is wearing some Walmart boots or something. Well anyways my nephew remixes me of me when I was a homeless nameless shoes….. At least he nows that they cost so much he cleans them every time he wares them.
My son love to wear Jordan’s and Nikes. The shoes he buys range from 85 to 200 dollars but I haven’t bought him shoes in 3 years. He has learned to take care of his shoes and how to save his money
Nice to hear!
Shoes are vital. Clothes are vital. I’m not saying kids are losers for not having nice clothes at all but you can tell when kids are better dressed and care about how they look. It leaves a good impression on parents, teachers, friends, and kids of the opposite gender 😉 I have a son who loves the newest nikes or Jordan basketball shoes and sometimes go up to $150. He is 15 but he knows our budget and is willing to pay for his own shoes!
I purchased 2 pairs of ecco loafers, on sale, about 5 years ago now I’ve put at least a thousand miles (not an exaggeration, I did door to door selling for awhile) into the brown pair and have barely worn the black pair. almost no wear to the soles of the shoe either. They’re leather, they polish up like new. and I spent $100/ea on them (originally $200/ea). I also weigh over 200lbs. and I am 6’3″. I used to run through a pair of Vans (great shoes for anyone who weighs 150lbs. or less) every 3 months, my wife only needs a new pair every year or so. Ecco also makes sneakers, though mine died after two years of owning them (the butter topping at the movie theater I used to work ate a hole in the sole of both shoes). Best of all they maintain their traction on both ice and wet manhole covers (Perfect for the NW) and they are extremely comfortable.
So while you may feel guilty about purchasing your kid a $100 pair of shoes, as long as they hold up to the wear and tear of everyday life it can be well worth the investment, especially if they last 3 times as long as other shoes you usually purchase him.
*ecco not to be confused with Ecko.
my daughter wasnt happy with the nike shoes 35 to 60 dollars. She thinks parents are trashy if they dont give their kids nike that cost 100 dollars and more
I think it is wrong to give kid shoes that cost over 100 dollars. I dont even have any tennis shoes that cost over 30 dollars in my closet.
.
It’s tough- that’s for sure. What I’m finding… three months later… is that the cheaper shoes that I bought previously for my son were worn out in less than 2 months. My son is still wearing these higher-quality, more expensive shoes 3 months later- he wears them all the time and is very, very active playing sports, and they still are looking good and not falling apart! Happy about that 🙂
My father once told me that he thought it was probably good that we didn’t have much money because he would have spent it on us.
As a result we all worked to get what we wanted. Need was a good teacher. For my kids, we set a budget, figured out what was needed, then let them have the majority of say in what was purchased. They learned to cover their needs and be choosy about what “cool” things they bought.
I know exactly how you feel. I am guilty of buying my daughters thing that either they don’t necessarily need or were probably more than I should have spent, all behind my husband’s back just because I don’t want to argue and have conflict with him over it – bad wife!
I grew up with parents that lived pretty much paycheck to paycheck, so you can imagine how stylish my clothes were and how often they splurged on our shoes/clothes. As I grew up and got my first summer job at age 15, I was expected to pitch in if I wanted more than what they could afford. I recall a time when I needed track spikes and they could not afford them. They made me the deal that they’d pay what the tennis shoes would cost and I had to come up with the extra cost for the spikes.
Now with my own girls, I find myself shopping clearance and sale racks a lot, so I don’t feel so guilty when my 8 year old wants an expensive coat or boots.
The best thing you can do for you kid is to buy good shoes for them. If not you can mess their feet up for life. But even $100 shoes can be bad for your feet. I think as long as they are good quality shoes that are right for their feet then it is okay. We spend that much on our shoes and our feet aren’t growing anymore, so important to have good shoes for your kids!
Consider the cost per wearing. WIll these be worn every day for several months or on a rare occasion? This puts a whole different slant on the purchase. Comfortable shoes worn frequently will be worth the investment, as opposed to trendy shoes that cost the same and worn only a few times. Divide the cost by the number of wearings to figure the cost per wearing. This applies to all clothing purchases.
I just bought my Pre-K boy ReeZigs too. My mom always made sure we looked nice and were in style because to this day she remembers getting made fun of because of the homeade dress she wore to school. She never wanted us to feel the pain of being made fun of. Kids are cruel even though they don’t always mean to be. I think you made a good decision and should not have buyer’s remorse. I know how you feel–your a good mom!